Advice

by C. Stell

I am not at ease giving advice.

I’ve made too many mistakes and most of them I keep repeating.

Recently a friend gave a commencement speech. She asked a few friends, including me, just to be polite, I think: “What words of advice would you give a high school graduate?”

I really had to think about that one. I don’t do very much deep thinking . I’ve always skittered on the edge of intense “What Is The Meaning Of Life?/Follow Your Bliss” conversations, because I just don’t know. If this sort of topic came up at a party with people earnestly and passionately stating their earnest and passionate opinions, I would make a beeline right to the kitchen, refresh peoples’ drinks, put out some more chips, and then try to change the subject: “Hey! Speaking of whether animals or trees have souls, a squirrel fell down our chimney! Smack into the fireplace ! He wasn’t hurt! It took us two hours though to….” my voice trailing off, ,people uncomfortably staring or uncomfortably looking away.

For my friend’s speech, all I could come up with was: “When in doubt, throw it out.”

My grandmother used to say it, referring to leftover, “iffy” food.

I suppose you could apply it to other problems or situations in life, but I’ve never given it much thought.

I do have a few stock bits of wisdom I try to give my kids. I mean, besides the Parental Basic Hygiene Rules (wash hands, brush teeth, etc.) and the Drugs, Sex and Alcohol Mandate ( DON’T!). I say “We will just have to make do” a lot. This is not a command to use the bathroom. It means, well, this is all we have to work with, so use it, make the best of it, and just do it.

I also say: “Things you do come back to you”. Very karmic, that one and I like the way it rhymes like “when in doubt throw it out” does. I say “Life Isn’t Fair” all the time; but, if you think about it, it’s not true. Life is fair in its unfairness.

My friend used the “when in doubt ” one. It was funny, she said, and it got some laughs, which are always needed in the midst of seemingly endless graduation speeches.

I’m going to go clean out my refrigerator now. And think about a certain “iffy” relationship I am hanging on to….

When in doubt….

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Copyright © 2001-2008 C. Stell
All Rights Reserved

Author Bio:

Ms. Stell is a teacher who lives in the Midwest with her two children.

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