Archive for the 'Holidays 1998' Category
Posted on January 2, 2000.
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by Ron Collins
I went out to get the mail in yesterday. For those of you who are really serious about writing, I don’t need to explain the fixation I have for the mailbox. For the rest of you, let me say that the mailbox is Mecca, the sacred totem that must be faced once daily, the bringer of all news foul, yet a comfort beyond all my ability to describe.
So you can see why I was flustered when I discovered that our recent ice storm had temporarily welded the danged thing shut with a sheet of ice as thick as a standard pencil.
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Posted on December 23, 1998.
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by Larisa Dawn
He slammed his book shut and pushed the wooden chair away from the small kitchen table. He had to do something. They had been sharing an office for more than three months. The semester was almost over. Randall couldn’t let Kayla choose another statistician for her thesis. He knew her work better than anyone, and he definitely wanted the chance to spend more time with her.
Randall began to devise a plan as he showered away the sweat and grime from his workout session earlier that evening. He had to think of some way to casually open up the lines of communication in a positive direction. Not that talking about work wasn’t positive for the sake of their careers, but it did nothing for their social lives. “What social life?” he muttered to himself.
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Posted on December 22, 1998.
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by Luanne F. Oleas
One moment Jess was laughing beside a tree, the next he was racing through hell with the odor of death all around him. Chunks of frozen earth erupted from the ground and pelted him. Jess’ lungs and legs ached in the bitter cold as he dodged plumes of black smoke. His rucksack bumped wildly against him with every stride while his fingers held a white-knuckle grip on his rifle.
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Posted on December 21, 1998.
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by Luanne F. Oleas
In the year of lost imagination, magnolias forgot to bloom, Congress taxed the wind, and America’s last fiction publisher closed. When the janitor locked the doors on the final day, Vartan Blazer watched from across the street with a bottle in a brown bag. His sheep dog, Ranger, lay by his side, paws crosses, muzzle down.
Two hours later, the young man left the cement bench. Ranger trotted by his side, a walking bag of rags with no eyes and a black nose. Vartan wandered through New York City’s gray streets in his orange trench coat. The wind stole his yellow fedora, sending it higher than the diesel-streaked skyscrapers that pierced the charcoal sky.
Snow hid in his dark, spongy curls and the pockets of his green jeans, soaking through his sandals to his red and purple socks.
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Posted on December 20, 1998.
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A Read Aloud Story by:
Maggie Bab Boon
This is the ball that started it all.
This is the cat with her bed in the hall
Who ran from the baby, sweet and small
Who hit the ball that started it all.
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Posted on December 19, 1998.
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by Pamela Rice Hahn
5. Couldn’t pass the postal exam, eh?
4. Will you puh-lease get that light out of my eyes???
3. That isn’t how you spell wreckless.
2. Excuse me! Did I ask for your opinion?
1. Here look! My gun’s bigger than yours!
Copyright (c) 1998-2008 Pamela K. Hahn (Pamela Rice Hahn)
Permission granted to forward this via email as long as
this entire copyright notice is attached.
The Chris White Top 5 List is Copyright (c) 1998 Chris White
and can be seen at http://www.topfive.com
This List is reprinted from the HUMOR section in the
The Blue Rose Bouquet at http://www.bluerosebouquet.com/
Reprinting this list for commercial purposes is forbidden
without the expressed written consent of the author.
Posted on December 18, 1998.
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by Pamela Rice Hahn
5. l’espirit de whore … a satisfied Charlie Sheen
4. coma tally view … the number of visitors to the patient in intensive care
3. moi cherie’s no more … the Arkansas pre-teen theme song
2. slurp du jour … an intern’s day at the office
1. a’la rode … an intern’s exceptional day at the office
Copyright (c) 1998-2007 Pamela K. Hahn (Pamela Rice Hahn)
Permission granted to forward this via email as long as
this entire copyright notice is attached.
The Chris White Top 5 List is Copyright (c) 1998 Chris White
and can be seen at http://www.topfive.com
This List is reprinted from the HUMOR section in the
The Blue Rose Bouquet at http://www.bluerosebouquet.com/
Reprinting this list for commercial purposes is forbidden
without the expressed written consent of the author.
Posted on December 17, 1998.
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by Pamela Rice Hahn
5. Jeus: the god of Florida fruit drinks
4. Pundora: goddess for those lacking the intelligence to come up with them
3. dildo: goddess of the loveless, mistress of the “no luck at the hunt”
2. batteri: dildo’s support group
1. HeHeHeHercules: god of laughter
Copyright (c) 1998-2008 Pamela K. Hahn (Pamela Rice Hahn)
Permission granted to forward this via email as long as
this entire copyright notice is attached.
The Chris White Top 5 List is Copyright (c) 1998 Chris White
and can be seen at http://www.topfive.com
This List is reprinted from the HUMOR section in the
The Blue Rose Bouquet at http://www.bluerosebouquet.com/
Reprinting this list for commercial purposes is forbidden
without the expressed written consent of the author.
Posted on December 16, 1998.
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by Pamela Rice Hahn
This list was sent in as my first audition. I exceeded the 5 entries by a bit. Ended up it was already an actual topic in progress and one of mine was chosen the #1 Monica Lewinsky Film Title for the Chris White Top 5 List on February 3rd, 1998.
Bang the Bum Slowly
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Posted on December 15, 1998.
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by Pamela Rice Hahn
1. You’ll no longer bend over in public to pick up dropped change. Hell! You won’t bend over for anything smaller than a twenty.
2. Your stretch pants don’t.
3. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to forgive Blackwell for those unkind remarks about Omar the Tentmaker’s designing skills.
4. You decide a beard is the best way to camouflage a double chin. And, you’re female!
5. Your T-shirts are now wide enough to emblazon MORE CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN’ across the front
in bold, 3″ letters … on one line.
Copyright (c) 1998-2008 Pamela K. Hahn (Pamela Rice Hahn)
Permission granted to forward this via email as long as
this entire copyright notice is attached.
The Chris White Top 5 List is Copyright (c) 1998 Chris White
and can be seen at http://www.topfive.com
This List is reprinted from the HUMOR section in the
The Blue Rose Bouquet at http://www.bluerosebouquet.com/
Reprinting this list for commercial purposes is forbidden
without the expressed written consent of the author.
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